So I recently deleted my Facebook account. For shame! I know. Because trust me that is all I hear every time I run into someone. "Why did you leave Facebook?" "I miss you on Facebook." "How come you're not on Facebook anymore?" Good lord. You would think it was a decision of the scale and magnitude of international diplomacy or something, with the amount of concern and interest it has raised. Which frankly, I find both a little scary and a little sad. I mean, most of these people haven't visited or called me since.... EVER. Meaning we are not exactly of a close nature, you know? They are usually people I haven't seen in years before becoming Facebook "friends." Or those people that are just casual acquaintances through some non-social avenue, like work. Or even better, they are a "friend's friend's friend!" But hey, they "miss" me on an internet site, they "miss" hearing about my life, or even worse, my daughter? It just totally freaks me out and reaffirms my decision to abandon this book of Face.
How odd is our social experience becoming nowadays? Yikes. I mean if I need to play six degrees to find out how we know each other, I really don't think I should have been sharing so much of my life with you anyway. I would probably be more comfortable doing it with the actual Kevin Bacon. And how sad are those people that troll the site so much that they abandon their real life to "hang" with their 458 friends and electronically poke each other and play freakin' Farmville? Yeah, at that point it is time to step away from the computer and return to the world of the three dimensional people. Seriously. Log off for a while. And give it a rest.
This is why I thought it was getting a bit ridiculous. I also came to loathe the way it became a full-on virtual playground for gossip, competition, and just plain-old nosiness! Granted, part of it was my fault for probably getting more invested in it than I should have. You know, posted too many statuses, uploaded too many pictures, accepted too many friend requests. But hey, when I get into something, I go hard or go home, ya know? Anyway, I just think that instead of being fun and lighthearted, it became creepy and annoying. And I saw myself morphing into one of those obsessive people I just mentioned. That is when I knew I needed an intervention. I was on the Facebook junk. And I was on it hard. I had to detox.
Like all addicts, I told myself I could slow down. I could just Facebook recreationally. You know, log in less often, stop posting pics, slow down my posts. Uh...yeah, no. Facebook is like heroin...or potato chips...depending on your metaphor preference. You can't do it just once in a while. You can't eat just one. Knowing that that little log-in box was there..all the time...staring me down, taunting me. I HAD to go on. And once you are on, forget it. You're sucked into a shame spiral of commenting, picture scanning, and "liking" things until the point where your eyes blur and your carpal tunnel inflames. So I knew I had to admit my problem and walk away clean. I had to...gasp....delete my account.
And I did. At first, it was weird. Because I liked the fact that it kept me in contact with some cool people, and that I could find out news and info going on both in my corner of the globe and in the world at large. What I didn't miss was all of those peeper/stalker types ogling over my every post, every pic, every conversation. I knew I had made the right decision. My life, my family, needs to be my business. And people that really mattered, I should make an effort to see, or call, or heck even email! I know that most technological inventions are created in an effort to bring us together. Like this blog. It allows me to "talk" about things and have a wider audience than if I had to literally spew this diatribe to every person I came in contact with throughout the day. (God, could you imagine?) But lately I see more credence to the flipside of the argument. Witnessing that some inventions, like Facebook, actually lessen our need to truly interact and therefore dehumanize our social experiences. So I guess it's a balancing act. Knowing how to use technology to your benefit, to enhance, without replacing, your actual life experiences!
With that said. I still love technology. And I don't think all social media is bad. Again, an example, blogging. Still connecting, still creating, still technology. And another, my new favorite, Twitter. At first I was very against Twitter, thinking it was like a shorter, more annoyingly faster-paced Facebook. But at the recommendation of a friend I tried it. And boy was I wrong! It has all the things I liked about Facebook. The ability to have quick chats and connect with people. The ability to share and follow along on sports, news, and entertainment topics. The ability to discover and check out new websites, companies, artists, books, and musicians. And all without the annoying "page" mentality. Twitter only has a short bio and a pic - no ridiculous sections about everyone's likes and dislikes, or who is related to who, or a "wall" of nonsense displayed like some pathetic badge of honor. It is just people connecting to each other and to information. Fast. Clean. Simple. I love it. And most of all, I have to say, is that while it is trendy, it hasn't yet "jumped the shark" to the point that everyone's parents and grandparents are on it. I mean, Betty White is on it, but we all know she gets a pass because her coolness is just freakin' timeless.
So while Facebook is dead to me, Twitter now reigns supreme. And this time I will be smart. My guard will be up. My intel will be tight. And the "block" weapon will be engaged if needed. So tweet me sometime :) @AlysonDell
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Monday, August 29, 2011
Music to my Ears
So, last night, while I was bathing Lila, an interesting thought came to mind. I wonder what kind of music she will grow to like? Not an odd thought since we always listen to music while she takes a bath. (Last night's soundtrack included selections from Neil Young's After the Goldrush, The Shins' Chutes to Narrow, and Wilco's Yankee Hotel Foxtrot) Now, I often wonder how my little lady will develop as a person. You know, what activities will interest her, which toys will be her favorites, what foods she will gravitate too, how she will do in school, etc. But the one that intrigues me most is her budding taste in music. The reason for this is obvious. Both my husband and I are music junkies and, quite frankly, music snobs. That's right, our taste in music is better than yours. We know a lot about music and we listen to quite a stellar repertoire. Yep, seriously, snobs. Like we will make fun of the fact that you listen to people like Rhianna or Bruno Mars. I don't care how many records they sell. They suck. Talentless, voice-corrected, mass-produced crap.
So anyway, that is why her music education is important to us. We have exposed her to all sorts of great music since she was in the womb. Literally. I rocked the headphones on the belly each day for a good period and each night before bed. She loved Otis Redding and Paul McCartney/Beatles (just like her Mama!) to get us through the work day at the office. While I was prepping dinner she jabbed and kicked my uterus to the beat of bands like Band of Horses, Avett Brothers and artists as varied as Sinatra, Jeff Buckley, and Beck. And before bed she liked to wind down with a little Pavarotti, Billie Holiday, or Edith Piaf. So you can see, good taste is in her blood!
After I finished her bath and read her a story, I put her to bed, setting her mobile for one rotation of the classic Brahms Lullaby. Like the good baby she is, she was asleep in 5 minutes. So, I sat down and flicked on the TV. Before I could get to my DVR, I decided to quickly log onto Facebook and check my messages. What a coincidence! The topic du jour of my internet "friends" that was blowing up the Newsfeed? Music! Or something claiming to be music - in the form of the MTV VMA awards. So I tuned in to see what everyone was talking about. After all, some of these new artists may have an impact on Lila's musical journey.
Before I continue I feel the need for a few disclaimers:
1. MTV is a TV network that claims to be based on music. This is no longer true. Turn on MTV anytime of day and try to find music. I dare you. Not. Even. Possible. Videos? Gone. Shows about music? Gone. But you will find quality programming that includes seventy-five reality show/ soap operas. Most of them starring ugly ignorant "kids" (if 30 can be considered a kid) from Jersey fighting and vomiting on each other, or even better, insecure, underage knocked-up girls pleading to be loved from their absentee parents and uneducated boyfriends. Uh, quality music television at its best? Whatever MTV. You've officially jumped the shark.
And 2. Despite the fact that they no longer show any music videos, MTV still continues to hold an awards show honoring....wait for it....music videos. WTF? Why don't you just give awards for the songs or albums? That is all we can base our opinions on anyway. I mean when was the last time you saw an actual video without looking it up online? Foolish.
Anway, despite my disdain for MTV and their fraudulent claims of being a network devoted to music, I started to watch the awards. Oh. My. God. What a freakin' train wreck. Now, I understand that every generation has their "hipsters" and that artists try to be daring and show they are creative. But what does wearing a block of cheese on your head (or whatever the hell Katy Perry was going for) or dressing like a man for the night have to do with your music? Oh right, nothing! It just helps you sell records and get media attention. For the art.....ya, ok.
Other than a few acts that were talented and could sing/play instruments (like Beyonce and Adele ) everyone else was pathetic. Gaga, while I admit she has talent and her songs are catchy, utterly ruins any chance of me being a fan since she feels the need to wear outfits made of meat, appear on stage in an egg, or have a 5 minute soliloquy dressed as Joe Pesce from Goodfellas. How is any of this related to music? Maybe she got confused when she fell asleep at career day in school? A little less acting Gaga, and I will take your music seriously.
Other things that irk me? How all of a sudden everyone is retro. 1950's & 60's hair, clothes, and rhythms seem to be what's cool again...key word being AGAIN. Get some originality will ya? The 50's and 60's have cycled back ten times already, so no Bruno Mars, you are not the first person to copy the Elvis look. And trapezes! Why does everyone need to invoke Cirque Du Soleil in order to be considered a "good act?" I'm talking to you Chris Brown. Go back into hiding - no one missed you after the whole "I beat up girls" thing anyway! We already had Michael Jackson and Usher, we don't need you. And the biggest offender of all, Little Wayne. Come on! Don't get me wrong I am not a huge fan of rap, so I probably am not a good person to judge performance, but I do know two things. 1. If you need to use auto tune for an entire song, you shouldn't attempt singing. And 2. If MTV needs to bleep out every other word - literally - you need to go out and buy a dictionary and beef up your vocabulary. And don't tell me that is the style of rap - tons of rappers can make it through an entire song using only one or two elements of profanity for effect. If Eminem can do it, anyone can.
And why are all these rappers "Little" anyway? Little Wayne, Little John, Little Bow Wow. Ok, I understand the last one because he was a kid rapper at the time. But the other two? And now that I think of it - don't they both have the Milli Vanilli dreads, hats, sunglasses, and grills? Hmmm....are they the same person? You know what - who cares, really.
By the time I got to the end of the show (I had to keep watching - it was so bad I couldn't look away!) I was too tired to even mock the scream fest that was Young the Giant. Um, who? Yeah - exactly. So many people I couldn't recognize. Even Katie Holmes had to pretend she knew who the nominees were for the best new artist award she was presenting. And we all know how good of an actor she is.....
So I see that I truly have an uphill battle to secure my daughter's musical education. I have to make sure she gets exposed to all the good music out there, past and present. I have to make sure she appreciates things like real melodies and harmonies, musical instruments that don't come out of a computer, and poignant and clever lyrics. Because if I leave it to current radio stations and MTV, she may think that Britney Spears actually does deserve a lifetime achievement award.
Seriously MTV? Go BLEEP yourself.
So anyway, that is why her music education is important to us. We have exposed her to all sorts of great music since she was in the womb. Literally. I rocked the headphones on the belly each day for a good period and each night before bed. She loved Otis Redding and Paul McCartney/Beatles (just like her Mama!) to get us through the work day at the office. While I was prepping dinner she jabbed and kicked my uterus to the beat of bands like Band of Horses, Avett Brothers and artists as varied as Sinatra, Jeff Buckley, and Beck. And before bed she liked to wind down with a little Pavarotti, Billie Holiday, or Edith Piaf. So you can see, good taste is in her blood!
After I finished her bath and read her a story, I put her to bed, setting her mobile for one rotation of the classic Brahms Lullaby. Like the good baby she is, she was asleep in 5 minutes. So, I sat down and flicked on the TV. Before I could get to my DVR, I decided to quickly log onto Facebook and check my messages. What a coincidence! The topic du jour of my internet "friends" that was blowing up the Newsfeed? Music! Or something claiming to be music - in the form of the MTV VMA awards. So I tuned in to see what everyone was talking about. After all, some of these new artists may have an impact on Lila's musical journey.
Before I continue I feel the need for a few disclaimers:
1. MTV is a TV network that claims to be based on music. This is no longer true. Turn on MTV anytime of day and try to find music. I dare you. Not. Even. Possible. Videos? Gone. Shows about music? Gone. But you will find quality programming that includes seventy-five reality show/ soap operas. Most of them starring ugly ignorant "kids" (if 30 can be considered a kid) from Jersey fighting and vomiting on each other, or even better, insecure, underage knocked-up girls pleading to be loved from their absentee parents and uneducated boyfriends. Uh, quality music television at its best? Whatever MTV. You've officially jumped the shark.
And 2. Despite the fact that they no longer show any music videos, MTV still continues to hold an awards show honoring....wait for it....music videos. WTF? Why don't you just give awards for the songs or albums? That is all we can base our opinions on anyway. I mean when was the last time you saw an actual video without looking it up online? Foolish.
Anway, despite my disdain for MTV and their fraudulent claims of being a network devoted to music, I started to watch the awards. Oh. My. God. What a freakin' train wreck. Now, I understand that every generation has their "hipsters" and that artists try to be daring and show they are creative. But what does wearing a block of cheese on your head (or whatever the hell Katy Perry was going for) or dressing like a man for the night have to do with your music? Oh right, nothing! It just helps you sell records and get media attention. For the art.....ya, ok.
Other than a few acts that were talented and could sing/play instruments (like Beyonce and Adele ) everyone else was pathetic. Gaga, while I admit she has talent and her songs are catchy, utterly ruins any chance of me being a fan since she feels the need to wear outfits made of meat, appear on stage in an egg, or have a 5 minute soliloquy dressed as Joe Pesce from Goodfellas. How is any of this related to music? Maybe she got confused when she fell asleep at career day in school? A little less acting Gaga, and I will take your music seriously.
Other things that irk me? How all of a sudden everyone is retro. 1950's & 60's hair, clothes, and rhythms seem to be what's cool again...key word being AGAIN. Get some originality will ya? The 50's and 60's have cycled back ten times already, so no Bruno Mars, you are not the first person to copy the Elvis look. And trapezes! Why does everyone need to invoke Cirque Du Soleil in order to be considered a "good act?" I'm talking to you Chris Brown. Go back into hiding - no one missed you after the whole "I beat up girls" thing anyway! We already had Michael Jackson and Usher, we don't need you. And the biggest offender of all, Little Wayne. Come on! Don't get me wrong I am not a huge fan of rap, so I probably am not a good person to judge performance, but I do know two things. 1. If you need to use auto tune for an entire song, you shouldn't attempt singing. And 2. If MTV needs to bleep out every other word - literally - you need to go out and buy a dictionary and beef up your vocabulary. And don't tell me that is the style of rap - tons of rappers can make it through an entire song using only one or two elements of profanity for effect. If Eminem can do it, anyone can.
And why are all these rappers "Little" anyway? Little Wayne, Little John, Little Bow Wow. Ok, I understand the last one because he was a kid rapper at the time. But the other two? And now that I think of it - don't they both have the Milli Vanilli dreads, hats, sunglasses, and grills? Hmmm....are they the same person? You know what - who cares, really.
By the time I got to the end of the show (I had to keep watching - it was so bad I couldn't look away!) I was too tired to even mock the scream fest that was Young the Giant. Um, who? Yeah - exactly. So many people I couldn't recognize. Even Katie Holmes had to pretend she knew who the nominees were for the best new artist award she was presenting. And we all know how good of an actor she is.....
So I see that I truly have an uphill battle to secure my daughter's musical education. I have to make sure she gets exposed to all the good music out there, past and present. I have to make sure she appreciates things like real melodies and harmonies, musical instruments that don't come out of a computer, and poignant and clever lyrics. Because if I leave it to current radio stations and MTV, she may think that Britney Spears actually does deserve a lifetime achievement award.
Seriously MTV? Go BLEEP yourself.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Mission Impossible
Lately I have an itch.
An itch to get the hell out of Dodge.
Both Ken and I have come to the realization that we have our own version of the 7 year itch. Except we are not itching to get away from each other. We are just itching to get away! Yes, we feel it is time to find a new location where we can settle and grow our family. A place a little farther away from all the hustle and bustle. A place with a few more trees and few less illegally parked cars. A place just a tad less congested, where my neighbors actually feel like neighbors and not roommates. Not that I don't love the sound of screeching car alarms and domestic brawls when I am trying to get my infant to sleep, I mean who wouldn't find that soothing? But seriously, as I get older, and now that I am a mother, I think I have outgrown the concrete jungle that is my current location and am ready for a little more open space. Give me land!
So we are looking. We are looking at, dare I say it, Towns! Nice communities with some action, but mostly grass and trees. Far enough away that people have to call to come visit, but not so far that no one ever will. Towns with friendly people, good schools, and a good community. Bigger houses, bigger yards, and smaller populations!
Sounds perfectly simple doesn't it? Well every dream has a price, and this one don't come cheap! All of those wonderful aforementioned criteria come at a cost. And seeing that we live in Massachusetts, a ridiculous, blow-you-out-of-the-water, kind of cost. I love New England, and I would never leave. But for the love of God, our housing market is high! Even in this recession! Lately, I obsessively watch that HGTV show House Hunters. It is somewhat depressing - houses across the country are HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS LESS than in Massachusetts. Three and four bedroom houses in the 150-250K range. Here, anything decent doesn't go below 350K! It's insanity. But it's the price we pay to be from a great Blue state, and you know what, to me it's worth it!
So what do you do? You tighten the purse strings. You sit down, you be an adult, and you financially plan. And we have. We've set up IRAs and Money Markets, and Savings Accounts and diligently put decent sums of money into them every month. And they are accruing. But not fast enough for me! Have you meant me? I am the woman that wants everything yesterday. When I have a goal, I lock onto it (some would say obsessively, I say passionately) and attack it from every possible angle.
So in addition to just saving, I thought it would be smart to also try and cut some of our expenses. Simple right? I figured it would be easiest to target the "expendable" household bills. Um, have you ever tried to do this? No matter who I called, these companies came up with some hitch or excuse, danced around the issue, and in the end left me utterly confused and saving nothing. They are definitely not in the business of helping you reduce costs. Don't believe me? Let me me enlighten you. I will now share a portion from my Cost Cutting Saga.
Act 1: The Cable Bill.
The curtain rises. Cue the theme song from Mission Impossible. A woman, Alyson, sits at her desk, phone in hand. She dials. After navigating her way through seven automated sub-menus, she hits "0" in frustration.
Representative: Good afternoon, my name is Sieisha. Thank you for calling [Name withheld] how can I help you today?
Alyson: Hello, my name is Alyson Dell Isola, my account number is xxx-xxxxx. I'm calling to try and see if there are any options for service where I can lower my monthly bill. It is a little high for my liking lately and I didn't know if there was anything we could do.
Rep: Mmm hmm, thank you for calling today Miss Doleesola. Can I have the account number you are calling about.
Alyson: (slightly annoyed) Uh, yah. Its xxx-xxxxx.
Rep: Mmkay, thank you. I have pulled up your account information here. It says you are currently paid in full and you are on the Super Savings Bundle!
Alyson: Right, but that is just it. I don't feel like I am getting any super savings. My bill is over two hundred dollars a month.
Rep: Yes Miss Dillosala, but for that price you are getting your blazingly fast high speed internet, your crystal clear voice landline, and 1 gajillion television stations!
Alyson: I understand but are there any other options for packages? I want to keep my phone and internet, so maybe is there something with less cable stations?
Rep: Well, there is the "Ghetto Bundle" but you will lose all movie stations, major cable networks, and you would have to pay extra for your cable boxes. Honestly Miss Delosilla, with what you have now, you get so much for the money, reducing your package would actually be like paying more!
Alyson: (frustrated) Oh, uh, I guess so, well I don't want to do that. And I also don't want to loose too much.
Rep: Yes, so you see your bundle really is the best option. (With false excitement) And because we appreciate your business I will give you 2 months reduced rate on your current package, bringing you down around $30 a month!
Alyson: Oh well that's great...
Rep: Of course after those promotional months, your bill will actually be $50 more than where you originally started.....
Alyson: Wait, what?
Rep: (interrupting) BUT did I tell you about the new amazing DVR features we offer with this package. You can record shows that aren't even in production yet! And now you can watch movies on your phone, your computer, your tablet, your toilet, and your microwave!
Alyson: (increasingly confused) Um, I am not sure I need all that.
Rep: But it is included Miss Doliola!! You would be throwing money away!
Alyson: (totally dizzy) Um, ok.
Rep: (speaking in hyper-speed) Great. So I am going to go ahead and enroll you in this new package and then transfer you over to billing. Is there anything else I can help you with today?
Alyson: (baffled) Uh, I don't know. I don't think so.....
Rep: Mmkay, then you have a great day. Thank you for calling [Name Withheld]. CLICK.......
Ok - so that is not exactly how the conversation went. But that is definitely how it felt! In the end I really ended up saving nothing. Instead I just wasted time! Those people are good. They talk and talk and confuse the crap out of you until you just end up agreeing. The CIA should train their agents with whatever methods these vendors are using.
Cut to this situation two more times with the cell phone company and gym membership. Yeah, three strikes, I'm out. I guess I will have to find other creative ways to save some more money.
So when do you think I should tell Ken I signed him up to sell his blood?
An itch to get the hell out of Dodge.
Both Ken and I have come to the realization that we have our own version of the 7 year itch. Except we are not itching to get away from each other. We are just itching to get away! Yes, we feel it is time to find a new location where we can settle and grow our family. A place a little farther away from all the hustle and bustle. A place with a few more trees and few less illegally parked cars. A place just a tad less congested, where my neighbors actually feel like neighbors and not roommates. Not that I don't love the sound of screeching car alarms and domestic brawls when I am trying to get my infant to sleep, I mean who wouldn't find that soothing? But seriously, as I get older, and now that I am a mother, I think I have outgrown the concrete jungle that is my current location and am ready for a little more open space. Give me land!
So we are looking. We are looking at, dare I say it, Towns! Nice communities with some action, but mostly grass and trees. Far enough away that people have to call to come visit, but not so far that no one ever will. Towns with friendly people, good schools, and a good community. Bigger houses, bigger yards, and smaller populations!
Sounds perfectly simple doesn't it? Well every dream has a price, and this one don't come cheap! All of those wonderful aforementioned criteria come at a cost. And seeing that we live in Massachusetts, a ridiculous, blow-you-out-of-the-water, kind of cost. I love New England, and I would never leave. But for the love of God, our housing market is high! Even in this recession! Lately, I obsessively watch that HGTV show House Hunters. It is somewhat depressing - houses across the country are HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS LESS than in Massachusetts. Three and four bedroom houses in the 150-250K range. Here, anything decent doesn't go below 350K! It's insanity. But it's the price we pay to be from a great Blue state, and you know what, to me it's worth it!
So what do you do? You tighten the purse strings. You sit down, you be an adult, and you financially plan. And we have. We've set up IRAs and Money Markets, and Savings Accounts and diligently put decent sums of money into them every month. And they are accruing. But not fast enough for me! Have you meant me? I am the woman that wants everything yesterday. When I have a goal, I lock onto it (some would say obsessively, I say passionately) and attack it from every possible angle.
So in addition to just saving, I thought it would be smart to also try and cut some of our expenses. Simple right? I figured it would be easiest to target the "expendable" household bills. Um, have you ever tried to do this? No matter who I called, these companies came up with some hitch or excuse, danced around the issue, and in the end left me utterly confused and saving nothing. They are definitely not in the business of helping you reduce costs. Don't believe me? Let me me enlighten you. I will now share a portion from my Cost Cutting Saga.
Act 1: The Cable Bill.
The curtain rises. Cue the theme song from Mission Impossible. A woman, Alyson, sits at her desk, phone in hand. She dials. After navigating her way through seven automated sub-menus, she hits "0" in frustration.
Representative: Good afternoon, my name is Sieisha. Thank you for calling [Name withheld] how can I help you today?
Alyson: Hello, my name is Alyson Dell Isola, my account number is xxx-xxxxx. I'm calling to try and see if there are any options for service where I can lower my monthly bill. It is a little high for my liking lately and I didn't know if there was anything we could do.
Rep: Mmm hmm, thank you for calling today Miss Doleesola. Can I have the account number you are calling about.
Alyson: (slightly annoyed) Uh, yah. Its xxx-xxxxx.
Rep: Mmkay, thank you. I have pulled up your account information here. It says you are currently paid in full and you are on the Super Savings Bundle!
Alyson: Right, but that is just it. I don't feel like I am getting any super savings. My bill is over two hundred dollars a month.
Rep: Yes Miss Dillosala, but for that price you are getting your blazingly fast high speed internet, your crystal clear voice landline, and 1 gajillion television stations!
Alyson: I understand but are there any other options for packages? I want to keep my phone and internet, so maybe is there something with less cable stations?
Rep: Well, there is the "Ghetto Bundle" but you will lose all movie stations, major cable networks, and you would have to pay extra for your cable boxes. Honestly Miss Delosilla, with what you have now, you get so much for the money, reducing your package would actually be like paying more!
Alyson: (frustrated) Oh, uh, I guess so, well I don't want to do that. And I also don't want to loose too much.
Rep: Yes, so you see your bundle really is the best option. (With false excitement) And because we appreciate your business I will give you 2 months reduced rate on your current package, bringing you down around $30 a month!
Alyson: Oh well that's great...
Rep: Of course after those promotional months, your bill will actually be $50 more than where you originally started.....
Alyson: Wait, what?
Rep: (interrupting) BUT did I tell you about the new amazing DVR features we offer with this package. You can record shows that aren't even in production yet! And now you can watch movies on your phone, your computer, your tablet, your toilet, and your microwave!
Alyson: (increasingly confused) Um, I am not sure I need all that.
Rep: But it is included Miss Doliola!! You would be throwing money away!
Alyson: (totally dizzy) Um, ok.
Rep: (speaking in hyper-speed) Great. So I am going to go ahead and enroll you in this new package and then transfer you over to billing. Is there anything else I can help you with today?
Alyson: (baffled) Uh, I don't know. I don't think so.....
Rep: Mmkay, then you have a great day. Thank you for calling [Name Withheld]. CLICK.......
Ok - so that is not exactly how the conversation went. But that is definitely how it felt! In the end I really ended up saving nothing. Instead I just wasted time! Those people are good. They talk and talk and confuse the crap out of you until you just end up agreeing. The CIA should train their agents with whatever methods these vendors are using.
Cut to this situation two more times with the cell phone company and gym membership. Yeah, three strikes, I'm out. I guess I will have to find other creative ways to save some more money.
So when do you think I should tell Ken I signed him up to sell his blood?
Monday, August 8, 2011
A Hard Day's Night
Man it has been a while since I have posted!
Well, that is what an insufferably sick nine months of pregnancy and a newborn baby will do to you! Yes - being pregnant was amazing, wonderful, miraculous. But the everyday vomit-fest...not so much. I was quite unprepared for the intense Circ de Soleil that my body and hormones went through. They seem to leave that part out of the Hallmark section. I jest of course, because every nauseous minute was one thousand percent worth it. My daughter is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. That sounds cliche, but if you are a parent, then you know it's true. But it is also true that the whirling dervish that was my digestive system for those months made it almost impossible to focus. And in those few moments when I felt well, I had other important things to get to, like work, and Facebook. So alas the blog took a back seat.
And then, of course, with the arrival of my little Mouse, time really became precious. Everyone knows how much hands-on work a newborn requires! Plus I had to soak up every minute of Mommy and Me time, seeing that my maternity leave was temporary. And everyone knows what a new mother should be doing in the down time when their infant is sleeping: Internet shopping! So again, priorities being what they were and all, I didn't have much time to write.
But here we are four months later, and the Mouse is growing like a weed and settling into our life quite nicely. She is the happiest and most pleasant baby ever. She loves all the things we do - the outdoors, music, and watching hockey! You think I'm joking, but I have the pictures to prove it. She gets mesmerized by NHL games. I think it might have something to do with us always yelling about the Bruins while she was in utero. She also rarely cries and has even put herself on a perfect little schedule. That's right, every night, after dinner and a bath, she hits the sheets by 7:30pm. And she loves her crib! I'm not trying to brag or anything, but I seriously think either she is a really amazing baby, or I am quite the kick-ass first-time mom. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's the former too. I can admit that my "mom" skills are still rough around the edges.
Here is a perfect story to illustrate how I know.
Last night, after finishing her dinner and taking her "tubby," the Mouse and I were sitting, rocking, and listening to music in her room. I looked her in the eyes and said, "Mousey, can you be a big girl tonight and sleep through the night? Mommy really needs a full night sleep." She responded by giving me her sly, little smile. Kind of like this:
I kissed her goodnight, and put her in her crib. This was at 7:15pm. I continued on with my evening with the husband, watching TV, playing with the dogs, and tidying up the house. Now, the Mouse usually gets up anywhere between midnight and 4am to eat, so I got into bed around 10pm, figuring I could get at least two to three consecutive hours before I had to feed her. 12am. I wake up - autopilot function I guess. But the house is quiet, no squeaks from the Mouse yet. 2am. I wake up. Still nothing. 4am. Damn it, I wake up again. Still nothing?! 5am. Silence. Ok, this time I get out of bed and rush to her room. Sleeping like an angel. What the heck? By the time I lay down again, the alarm goes off at 6am. Husband and Mouse arise all happy and well rested, while this fool resumes her intravenous coffee tradition! I couldn't believe it! I wasted a perfectly good chance at a full night's sleep! As I place the Mouse in her bouncy chair so I can drag my butt to the shower, she grins at me again. I swear - it is like she knew I wouldn't be able to handle it. She laughed at my request the night before, and she laughed at my failure in the morning. So it's like I said, Baby=Amazing, Mommy=Rookie.
Yeah, the nights are hard, the days are hard. And I am sure there will be a whole lot more challenges ahead. But check out these images. Um, yeah, this is really what it's all about.
Well, that is what an insufferably sick nine months of pregnancy and a newborn baby will do to you! Yes - being pregnant was amazing, wonderful, miraculous. But the everyday vomit-fest...not so much. I was quite unprepared for the intense Circ de Soleil that my body and hormones went through. They seem to leave that part out of the Hallmark section. I jest of course, because every nauseous minute was one thousand percent worth it. My daughter is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. That sounds cliche, but if you are a parent, then you know it's true. But it is also true that the whirling dervish that was my digestive system for those months made it almost impossible to focus. And in those few moments when I felt well, I had other important things to get to, like work, and Facebook. So alas the blog took a back seat.
And then, of course, with the arrival of my little Mouse, time really became precious. Everyone knows how much hands-on work a newborn requires! Plus I had to soak up every minute of Mommy and Me time, seeing that my maternity leave was temporary. And everyone knows what a new mother should be doing in the down time when their infant is sleeping: Internet shopping! So again, priorities being what they were and all, I didn't have much time to write.
But here we are four months later, and the Mouse is growing like a weed and settling into our life quite nicely. She is the happiest and most pleasant baby ever. She loves all the things we do - the outdoors, music, and watching hockey! You think I'm joking, but I have the pictures to prove it. She gets mesmerized by NHL games. I think it might have something to do with us always yelling about the Bruins while she was in utero. She also rarely cries and has even put herself on a perfect little schedule. That's right, every night, after dinner and a bath, she hits the sheets by 7:30pm. And she loves her crib! I'm not trying to brag or anything, but I seriously think either she is a really amazing baby, or I am quite the kick-ass first-time mom. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's the former too. I can admit that my "mom" skills are still rough around the edges.
Here is a perfect story to illustrate how I know.
Last night, after finishing her dinner and taking her "tubby," the Mouse and I were sitting, rocking, and listening to music in her room. I looked her in the eyes and said, "Mousey, can you be a big girl tonight and sleep through the night? Mommy really needs a full night sleep." She responded by giving me her sly, little smile. Kind of like this:
I kissed her goodnight, and put her in her crib. This was at 7:15pm. I continued on with my evening with the husband, watching TV, playing with the dogs, and tidying up the house. Now, the Mouse usually gets up anywhere between midnight and 4am to eat, so I got into bed around 10pm, figuring I could get at least two to three consecutive hours before I had to feed her. 12am. I wake up - autopilot function I guess. But the house is quiet, no squeaks from the Mouse yet. 2am. I wake up. Still nothing. 4am. Damn it, I wake up again. Still nothing?! 5am. Silence. Ok, this time I get out of bed and rush to her room. Sleeping like an angel. What the heck? By the time I lay down again, the alarm goes off at 6am. Husband and Mouse arise all happy and well rested, while this fool resumes her intravenous coffee tradition! I couldn't believe it! I wasted a perfectly good chance at a full night's sleep! As I place the Mouse in her bouncy chair so I can drag my butt to the shower, she grins at me again. I swear - it is like she knew I wouldn't be able to handle it. She laughed at my request the night before, and she laughed at my failure in the morning. So it's like I said, Baby=Amazing, Mommy=Rookie.
Yeah, the nights are hard, the days are hard. And I am sure there will be a whole lot more challenges ahead. But check out these images. Um, yeah, this is really what it's all about.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Holiday Hype
I can not believe it is already Thanksgiving! I have recently come to realize that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Why you ask? Yes, the food is a big part of it. As is my secret desire to see one of those ginormous parade balloons crash into a NYC building. But these are not the most important reasons. The reason I love Thanksgiving the most is because it is one of the very few holidays (the only other major holiday I can think of is the 4th of July) where there is no tradition of gift giving.
Now don't get me wrong, I am no Scrooge. It is not a miserly motive. Ask anyone - I give the best Christmas presents. I enjoy picking out things for the people I love. But, it's just that I hate how the holidays have morphed into these commercially-driven, consumption-obsessed rituals. The presents are no longer a thought, a part of the day. They are the WHOLE day.
How many of you can say that your kids favorite holiday is Christmas? And why do you think your kids would say so? Is it the magical feeling they get when you string up the lights? Is it the fun of baking Christmas cookies with their mom? Is it because all the family comes together to share? No, that's right, it is because it's the holiday when they get the most presents. Now I understand that is part of the excitement of being a kid. I was there too once. But as I am about to bring my own child into the world, I can't help but stop and think - should this really be the main focus of a holiday? And are we as adults and parents helping to promote this ideal? How over the top have you gone so far for your kids this Christmas?
I won't blame the kids. Even though I have seen my share of spoiled kiddie attitudes, it's not all their fault. It is only natural to be overwhelmed by an abundance of new things that magically appear in your house one morning. No, it is adults too that are obsessed with the gift aspect of holidays. "I got my son a new flat screen this year. Oh, how old is he? Seven." SEVEN??? "I have to get Susie something spectacular for Christmas,because she got me such a great gift last year." Really? Is it a competition?
And it's not just Christmas. Hundreds of dollars for roses on Valentine's Day. Professionally costumed kids with multiple overflowing sacks of candy on Halloween. Easter baskets filled with electronics instead of eggs. Where have the meaning of these celebrations gone?
When my nephews were little I used to take them every Christmas season to the toy store. Right at peak time, when they were really yearning for all the new items on the shelf, and weren't sure yet what Santa would bring. Then I would tell them to pick out the best gift they could find. And then I would take them to the local fire station and have them donate it to Toys for Tots. Our car ride filled with conversation about the real meaning of Christmas, and how giving in itself was a reward. I plan on continuing this tradition with my own child. I also hope I can uphold the traditions of hand-made Valentines, homemade Halloween costumes, and Easter baskets filled with chocolate eggs. I want holidays to really mean something.
So this Thanksgiving, as I have my own little Turkey in the oven, I am thankful for a holiday when I can gather with family and friends and just celebrate. For a holiday when we can realize how lucky we are for all that we already have, and not what we may or may not get.
Now don't get me wrong, I am no Scrooge. It is not a miserly motive. Ask anyone - I give the best Christmas presents. I enjoy picking out things for the people I love. But, it's just that I hate how the holidays have morphed into these commercially-driven, consumption-obsessed rituals. The presents are no longer a thought, a part of the day. They are the WHOLE day.
How many of you can say that your kids favorite holiday is Christmas? And why do you think your kids would say so? Is it the magical feeling they get when you string up the lights? Is it the fun of baking Christmas cookies with their mom? Is it because all the family comes together to share? No, that's right, it is because it's the holiday when they get the most presents. Now I understand that is part of the excitement of being a kid. I was there too once. But as I am about to bring my own child into the world, I can't help but stop and think - should this really be the main focus of a holiday? And are we as adults and parents helping to promote this ideal? How over the top have you gone so far for your kids this Christmas?
I won't blame the kids. Even though I have seen my share of spoiled kiddie attitudes, it's not all their fault. It is only natural to be overwhelmed by an abundance of new things that magically appear in your house one morning. No, it is adults too that are obsessed with the gift aspect of holidays. "I got my son a new flat screen this year. Oh, how old is he? Seven." SEVEN??? "I have to get Susie something spectacular for Christmas,because she got me such a great gift last year." Really? Is it a competition?
And it's not just Christmas. Hundreds of dollars for roses on Valentine's Day. Professionally costumed kids with multiple overflowing sacks of candy on Halloween. Easter baskets filled with electronics instead of eggs. Where have the meaning of these celebrations gone?
When my nephews were little I used to take them every Christmas season to the toy store. Right at peak time, when they were really yearning for all the new items on the shelf, and weren't sure yet what Santa would bring. Then I would tell them to pick out the best gift they could find. And then I would take them to the local fire station and have them donate it to Toys for Tots. Our car ride filled with conversation about the real meaning of Christmas, and how giving in itself was a reward. I plan on continuing this tradition with my own child. I also hope I can uphold the traditions of hand-made Valentines, homemade Halloween costumes, and Easter baskets filled with chocolate eggs. I want holidays to really mean something.
So this Thanksgiving, as I have my own little Turkey in the oven, I am thankful for a holiday when I can gather with family and friends and just celebrate. For a holiday when we can realize how lucky we are for all that we already have, and not what we may or may not get.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Back to blog
I am not sure why I continue to keep this blog? I think I am ultimately missing the point of a blog: to routinely write short, quick, frequent blurbs. I think I was destined to be a different type of writer. Not this instant gratification, 21st century, technologically-assisted type. I am more old -school. You know, one that procrastinates and only actually writes one piece every couple of months, all the while lamenting about the struggles of being a misunderstood artist who is plagued by high-brow struggles like writers' block. That is the kind of writer I want to be.
Whatever. I'll just write when the mood strikes me. Despite the blogging convention. Who knows, maybe when I die, my ineptitude will become my legacy? Think about it. The fact that there will be only limited examples of my genius could give me clout. The few, small windows into my psyche could become cherished artifacts. Like anything else, if you over saturate the world with them, they lose their value, right? Yeah, that's me. The Basquiat of blogging. Well, give me some credit for trying at least!
So usually I get the urge to blog again when something aggravates me. I don't know why, but I tend to get loquacious when I have an opinion. *Insert the "no shit Sherlock!" comments here* So my topic du jour? The insane frequency of lame-ass political ads during election season. And my previous mention of over saturation could not be a better segway into this topic.
Good grief! I know that elections are important and voting is our right and obligation and all the other blah blah blah that you political enthusiasts love to spew at me. But why must you pollute my TV so? You can't even watch an episode of Jeopardy in the month of October without being inundated with annoying ad after ad. I wouldn't mind if the ads played a few times a week. But I literally counted, and that damn Charlie Baker ad played seven times within two hours of network programming!! I've seen it so much that I don't want to vote for him just because I am sick of looking at that stupid mole! Don't these campaigns have someone qualified in marketing techniques to know there is such a thing as OVERKILL?? If I have to watch that low-budget anti-Anne Kuster piece of crap one more time, I am going to scream! Way to get your money's worth on that cheesy sound effect! I wasn't going to say it, but soooo New Hampshire.
Not to mention the style and content of some of these ads. Are these people kidding me? Do they really think I am going to vote for them because they claim to "follow a different path" and "will make the necessary changes." Oh really hotshot? I just have one question for you all. One that you never seem to answer. HOW? These blowhards have no problem pointing out past indiscretions of their opponents, or highlighting the incumbents' failures. But they NEVER say how they are actually going to fix things or even how they will implement changes.
"Tim Cahill is one of us! And he will fix the unemployment problem." That's great Timmy.....but how? Do you have some secret solution? Like, say, 25,000 jobs in your back pocket? "Karen Polito will save the taxpayers money and stimulate the economy." Oh I see. Hundreds of politicians across the nation are struggling with these issues, but good ole' Karen has it in the bag! Vote for her, she's magic. And speaking of magic, don't even get me started about Christine O'Donnell and the witch allegations! Are Americans in general getting stupider, or are just more of them getting involved in politics?
In case I was too subtle, I think these ads are ridiculous! But they do achieve something. They make me realize that I don't want to vote for any of these fools. If a candidate wants my vote, they would make themselves known to me long before October. You know actually be active, involved, and visible in my state before crunch time! Come on - be honest, how many of you heard of Charlie Baker before this fall? And it would also be nice if they presented themselves in a manner that is more professional than a slather of cheesy thirty and sixty-second spots in between Access Hollywood. I'm telling you, these ads make me long for the days of the "Wazzup?" commercials. Now what does that tell you?
Whatever. I'll just write when the mood strikes me. Despite the blogging convention. Who knows, maybe when I die, my ineptitude will become my legacy? Think about it. The fact that there will be only limited examples of my genius could give me clout. The few, small windows into my psyche could become cherished artifacts. Like anything else, if you over saturate the world with them, they lose their value, right? Yeah, that's me. The Basquiat of blogging. Well, give me some credit for trying at least!
So usually I get the urge to blog again when something aggravates me. I don't know why, but I tend to get loquacious when I have an opinion. *Insert the "no shit Sherlock!" comments here* So my topic du jour? The insane frequency of lame-ass political ads during election season. And my previous mention of over saturation could not be a better segway into this topic.
Good grief! I know that elections are important and voting is our right and obligation and all the other blah blah blah that you political enthusiasts love to spew at me. But why must you pollute my TV so? You can't even watch an episode of Jeopardy in the month of October without being inundated with annoying ad after ad. I wouldn't mind if the ads played a few times a week. But I literally counted, and that damn Charlie Baker ad played seven times within two hours of network programming!! I've seen it so much that I don't want to vote for him just because I am sick of looking at that stupid mole! Don't these campaigns have someone qualified in marketing techniques to know there is such a thing as OVERKILL?? If I have to watch that low-budget anti-Anne Kuster piece of crap one more time, I am going to scream! Way to get your money's worth on that cheesy sound effect! I wasn't going to say it, but soooo New Hampshire.
Not to mention the style and content of some of these ads. Are these people kidding me? Do they really think I am going to vote for them because they claim to "follow a different path" and "will make the necessary changes." Oh really hotshot? I just have one question for you all. One that you never seem to answer. HOW? These blowhards have no problem pointing out past indiscretions of their opponents, or highlighting the incumbents' failures. But they NEVER say how they are actually going to fix things or even how they will implement changes.
"Tim Cahill is one of us! And he will fix the unemployment problem." That's great Timmy.....but how? Do you have some secret solution? Like, say, 25,000 jobs in your back pocket? "Karen Polito will save the taxpayers money and stimulate the economy." Oh I see. Hundreds of politicians across the nation are struggling with these issues, but good ole' Karen has it in the bag! Vote for her, she's magic. And speaking of magic, don't even get me started about Christine O'Donnell and the witch allegations! Are Americans in general getting stupider, or are just more of them getting involved in politics?
In case I was too subtle, I think these ads are ridiculous! But they do achieve something. They make me realize that I don't want to vote for any of these fools. If a candidate wants my vote, they would make themselves known to me long before October. You know actually be active, involved, and visible in my state before crunch time! Come on - be honest, how many of you heard of Charlie Baker before this fall? And it would also be nice if they presented themselves in a manner that is more professional than a slather of cheesy thirty and sixty-second spots in between Access Hollywood. I'm telling you, these ads make me long for the days of the "Wazzup?" commercials. Now what does that tell you?
Sunday, May 16, 2010
From Here to Eternity
Today felt like the longest Sunday ever. Usually Sundays fly by. In large part because that dreaded Monday morning looms in the shadows. But today was refreshing. I accomplished everything on my list and had time to spare! What a concept!
For a good day, it actually started out a little shaky. There's nothing like waking up at 7:30am on a Sunday. Sun shining, birds chirping, and a frantic husband yelling that we're late for work! "Honey get up - we're late! Why didn't you make me set the alarm?" Once I assured him that it was Sunday and that it was too early to be up on our day off (as well as reminding him that even if it wasn't Sunday, it wasn't MY job to tell him to set his alarm), we laid back down. Only to be jolted up once again. This time by the most heinous grating sound echoing up through our bedroom windows. What the hell could that be on a Sunday morning, you ask? Oh right! My neighbor (no names shall be named, but here is a hint - we're related!) was filling the cracks in his driveway with cement and using a shovel to skim the excess. "Pat pat pat, scrape, scrape, scraaaaappppeee....." Doesn't everyone do that on a Sunday morning? Brush your teeth, read the paper, go to church, cement the driveway??? Hmmmm....
So since we were up early, Ken and I cleaned the house. All of his earlier transgressions were forgiven once I saw the bang up job he did of dusting and polishing the furniture. Once we finished cleaning and did a few loads of laundry, we checked the clock. 11 am!!! What!! Were the hands actually moving? We agreed on the obvious scientific explanation. Apparently time had stood still, so we were going to take advantage of it. There were a few household items we had been meaning to pick up, as well as some last minute needs for our upcoming vacation. We got dressed and headed out to do some shopping.
Now, I know that I rag on my husband some times when I try to be funny, but he really is one of a kind. I am the luckiest wife, because....the man loves to shop. And I am not talking about lame things, like tools or electronics. I am talking full-on clothes and home goods bargain hunting. He is the best shopping partner I have ever had. It's priceless. So like I said, we needed a random assortment of things -a suitcase for Ken, new sunglasses, a dish rack, and skewers for the grill. Usually finding this specific of a list could pose quite the time consuming process. But not on Perpetual Sunday! We found ALL of these things in one store (Marshalls is usually hit or miss, well today was definitely a HIT). It took all of 45 minutes....with 15 minutes dedicated solely to modeling sunglasses for each other, of course.
After completing all our necessary errands,we still had time to do lunch at Panera AND I got a manicure and pedicure while Ken picked out some new shirts at the mall. At this point most people would call it a day. But not on Super Sunday! Ken followed up with a 2 hour baseball practice and I took the dogs for a walk around the city. We ended the night with a sushi dinner and a movie.
When I woke up this morning, it felt like today was going to be the worst day. But clearly we traveled through the space time continuum or something, and were rewarded with an absolutely fulfilling day! I am so thankful. Especially since I just remembered that tomorrow is Monday. Crap. I hope Ken forgets to set the alarm.
For a good day, it actually started out a little shaky. There's nothing like waking up at 7:30am on a Sunday. Sun shining, birds chirping, and a frantic husband yelling that we're late for work! "Honey get up - we're late! Why didn't you make me set the alarm?" Once I assured him that it was Sunday and that it was too early to be up on our day off (as well as reminding him that even if it wasn't Sunday, it wasn't MY job to tell him to set his alarm), we laid back down. Only to be jolted up once again. This time by the most heinous grating sound echoing up through our bedroom windows. What the hell could that be on a Sunday morning, you ask? Oh right! My neighbor (no names shall be named, but here is a hint - we're related!) was filling the cracks in his driveway with cement and using a shovel to skim the excess. "Pat pat pat, scrape, scrape, scraaaaappppeee....." Doesn't everyone do that on a Sunday morning? Brush your teeth, read the paper, go to church, cement the driveway??? Hmmmm....
So since we were up early, Ken and I cleaned the house. All of his earlier transgressions were forgiven once I saw the bang up job he did of dusting and polishing the furniture. Once we finished cleaning and did a few loads of laundry, we checked the clock. 11 am!!! What!! Were the hands actually moving? We agreed on the obvious scientific explanation. Apparently time had stood still, so we were going to take advantage of it. There were a few household items we had been meaning to pick up, as well as some last minute needs for our upcoming vacation. We got dressed and headed out to do some shopping.
Now, I know that I rag on my husband some times when I try to be funny, but he really is one of a kind. I am the luckiest wife, because....the man loves to shop. And I am not talking about lame things, like tools or electronics. I am talking full-on clothes and home goods bargain hunting. He is the best shopping partner I have ever had. It's priceless. So like I said, we needed a random assortment of things -a suitcase for Ken, new sunglasses, a dish rack, and skewers for the grill. Usually finding this specific of a list could pose quite the time consuming process. But not on Perpetual Sunday! We found ALL of these things in one store (Marshalls is usually hit or miss, well today was definitely a HIT). It took all of 45 minutes....with 15 minutes dedicated solely to modeling sunglasses for each other, of course.
After completing all our necessary errands,we still had time to do lunch at Panera AND I got a manicure and pedicure while Ken picked out some new shirts at the mall. At this point most people would call it a day. But not on Super Sunday! Ken followed up with a 2 hour baseball practice and I took the dogs for a walk around the city. We ended the night with a sushi dinner and a movie.
When I woke up this morning, it felt like today was going to be the worst day. But clearly we traveled through the space time continuum or something, and were rewarded with an absolutely fulfilling day! I am so thankful. Especially since I just remembered that tomorrow is Monday. Crap. I hope Ken forgets to set the alarm.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)