Seriously?

You know what I don't understand? I don't understand how people who have lived their entire lives in New England STILL get upset about the weather this time of year. Seriously, why are these people complaining that it is cold in mid-October? It's fall... or autumn...whichever you prefer to call it. One thing I am sure of...it's NOT summer. Summer is over people. Deal with it. The pools are closed, the beaches are empty. Put away the swimsuits and get out the fleece. It is inevitable. It happens every year. So where is that element of surprise that I obviously seem to be missing?

I think the weather is pretty typical. I mean, I know this particular weekend has dipped a bit lower than usual temperatures, but aside from this one weather pattern, everything else seems to be right on track. It is supposed to be clear, crisp, and cold, you know. That is what fall is! It's raking leaves, drinking hot apple cider, and sitting by a crackling fireplace while you watch football. It's looking through the entire damn pumpkin patch for that perfect one, even though your fingers feel like they might fall off. It's starting up the oven on a Saturday morning and baking something just to warm the house and fill it with a sweet aroma. It's hiding those extra five pounds (maybe a result of those aforementioned baked goods?) under hooded sweatshirts or bulky sweaters. I especially enjoy this part. Fall is a woman's friend in this department, trust me. Anyway, you get the point. And aren't these usually the reasons why people come to New England?

So in conclusion, it's New England and it's fall people! Stop avoiding taking out the air conditioners, stop whining about tropical islands, stop clinging to your flips-flips, and for God's sake, stop trying to fool people by rocking that fake-bake you got from the tanning bed. (No seriously, it looks weird when you are still THAT tanned in October)

And if there are those of you who read this, and still keep pining for beach weather four weeks into the fall, you really should think about relocating. You should relocate to a place that is warm all the time, since you seem to equate that with happiness to a ridiculous degree. And more importantly, you should relocate so that I don't have to listen to you complain every five seconds about having to turn the heat on. To those of you, I bid you adieu. Don't let the Snuggie hit you in the ass on the way out :)