Happenstance Romance?

With Valentine's Day looming on the horizon, I am going to write about something today that some of you will think is sweet, and some of you will think is nauseating. I am going to reflect on when I first met and fell in love with my husband. Now, if you are part of that group that says "Oh gag me...you two are too much already, so sappy" or "give it time you are still newlyweds," then sadly, I must tell you to take a long walk off a short pier. I am giving you fair warning that you should stop reading now, because the story of how we first got together is the stuff that ABC family and Lifetime movies are made of. Real "chick flick" stuff!

Anyway, I will ignore those of you who are green-eyed cynics and continue on. Since around August of 2004 I have been completely and utterly in love with Kenneth Dell Isola. If you really want to go back, I have had a crush on him since we met in 1999, but 2004 was when we became true friends and the proverbial instance of being swept off my feet occurred.

I will never forget the moment when I realized that I was over-the-moon, out-of-my-mind in love with him. (That's right I remember the exact moment, deal with it!) We were not even dating yet (forward, I have always been!), but just hanging out as friends. We both worked for the same company and happened to be working at the same outdoor summer event. And when I say happened to be working the same event, what I really mean is I finagled it that way so that I could see him. Anyway, it was the end of the night, the event was over, and we were sitting on the hood of his car just talking. And not that shallow, try to impress the opposite sex kind of talking, but really talking and listening to each other. This is still one of my favorite qualities about my husband to this day. He doesn't do fake, he doesn't try to impress, he is always just 100% himself. That night we talked about our interests, families, even what we wanted out of life. Oh readers, this is when I was hooked. A man who was honest, sincere, kind, and not to mention totally easy on the eyes!!

Before I knew it, summer had become fall, and I had yet to find a way to cross what I like to call "the friendship bridge." You know that line that appears somehow when you are friends with someone first? I couldn't just leave it to chance! I had to get us together in some sort of date-like scenario/environment. Something at night, and definitely something separate from work. So I did what any sane, together, 21st century, modern woman would do. I met up with him on a Friday and invited him to a birthday party for my roommate being held the next night at my apartment. Sounds fine right? Except for the fact that this party had yet to exist! No guests had been invited. No food had been purchased. Hell, it wasn't even my roommate's birthday! But Mama always taught me to go after what I wanted, so I sprung into action.

I ran home to my roommate and enlisted her to calling everyone we knew. A hodge-podge guest list it was, but that didn't matter. He was coming to my place! In less that 24 hours! We exploded into Johnny's Foodmaster, scared half the population of the Republic of Cambridge, and grabbed whatever we could that was edible. I called my more boozey-oriented friends and make them promise they would supplement with whatever they had in their liquor cabinet. Ok, guest list, food, and drink were taken care of. Now eight hours remained for what was most important: picking out my outfit and doing my hair!

Cut to later that night. Bestill my heart! He arrived at the party, cooly and fashionably late, looking too adorable. I knew right off that it was a good sign I wasn't the only one who took extra care on my appearance! I was my graceful and charming self. Which, if you really know me, means I only tripped/dropped things/nervously laughed for half of the time. But it didn't matter. He was still super attentive and interested in hanging out with me. A guy who liked me despite myself! I knew I needed to marry him! But I calmly reminded myself to take one step at a time. Like securing a second date :)

And I knew he was hooked too, because he was the last one to leave that night. Ok, actually he didn't leave, he crashed at my place. We were drinking wine and talking so late into the night that I couldn't let him drive. But I can honestly say that I am a good girl. I made him sleep on the couch. He still teases me to this day about that, but I know that he liked me even more because I did! It was only our first date after all! But what an amazing first date it was. I went to sleep that night tingling from the excitement. I had liked him for so long and I finally broke some ground! I'm not even sure if he knows it, but I laid awake all night, knowing he was just outside my door, my mind racing and heart pounding.

That first night led to a more traditional second date, dinner and a movie. And so on and so on. Our courtship was nothing short of lovely. Each moment we spent together we fell more and more in love. Dating led to a committed relationship. A committed relationship led to living together. Living together led to adopting dogs together. And finally marriage. We have been married one year, three months, and two days. And every night when I lay in bed next to my husband I still tingle, my mind still races, and my heart still pounds. He is truly the love of my life. A good man, no a great man, whom I am so lucky to have. And to think, none of it ever would have happened if I hadn't thrown a last-minute, fake party! Take that Martha Stewart!

Happy Valentine's Day Ken. I love you always.

Head Games

Oh, I have done it again. I had promised not to lag between blogs posts, and what have I gone and done? Smashed that promise into a thousand little bits! I really have no excuse. I could try and explain how busy at work I am, or how much time the house renovations are taking. But to be honest, I really just can't bear to look at the computer lately. I am on it almost all day in work, and when I come home I just want to have dinner with my husband and then sit and read a nice book. No screens allowed.

Ok - all of that was a lie. I just thought is sounded better than the actual reason I have lapsed on my blogging: Super Mario Brothers for Wii. I kid you not. I am a grown woman, about to turn 30 (GASP!) and I can not stop playing this damned video game. It is like crack, except you keep all of your teeth.

I apologize for lying to you, but that is a sign of addiction isn't it? Seriously people, I may need an intervention. Call up A&E - get me on that show. I try to just play a game or two, but it always turns into this obsessive marathon. I find myself getting tired and bleary eyed, and yet still I push on. Jumping, sliding, fire-balling my way into a video game coma, "I just need to beat one more Castle!"

Oh, those Nintendo people. They have been screwing with me since I was six years old. That's right - you know, the original Mario Brothers and Duck Hunt. Followed by years of Super Mario Brothers, Nintendo 64, all the way right up to Mario Kart and The New Super Mario Brothers for Wii. It's a god damned dynasty I tell ya! It gets into your head somehow. And you JUST CAN'T STOP.

At first, my husband thought I was crazy. "Oh aren't you cute with your silly little video game!" His patronization was short lived, however, once he picked up that Wii remote. He was watching me fail over and over again at a certain portion of Level 5 (that damned monster fish!), when he grabbed the remote from my hand and condescendingly stated, "Let me show you, so we can turn it off already!" And that my friends, was all it took.

Later that night I awoke from a deep slumber to the sounds of jingling coins and that annoying "hop, hop!" song coming from my living room. There he was, in the pale blue glow of the TV, eyes pasted open, fingers blistered, trying to beat Level 1. Crack I tell you, crack.

So now we are both in a shame spiral of addiction. Blowing off dinners, ignoring phone calls, and sadly, abstaining from the mountain of laundry, all in the name of saving Princess Peach.

Our house is dusty, our refrigerator is empty, and our thumbs are ravaged. This witch better be worth it!

Perfection

Three days until Christmas. Wow the holiday season has flown by! And I am so thankful that it has been so much fun this year. My strategy of staying positive and having a Merry Christmas has worked thus far! I followed my advice and completed everything I listed in my last post. I am telling you people – it works!

I am also contributing to my success, the fact that I have been able to ultimately avoid those I like to call “Debbie Downers.” You know the type. Dashing through the snow, in a suped-up SUV, to the malls they go, complaining endlessly! Geesh! These people amaze me! This is the time of year to focus on all we have and to be thankful for our blessings. There are so many people in the world that are less fortunate. I don’t think having too many holiday parties or having too many gifts to buy should qualify as a plight! Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds? Yeah, it really stinks having a ton of loved ones to spend quality time with. And man do I hate being fortunate enough to be able to buy gifts for them all! Now how stupid is that when you really think about it??

But these “Debs” just keep on finding things to harp about. “The stores are crowded.” “I have soooo much baking left.” “The kids are driving me crazy.” “Ugh, more snow?!?” It is official. These statements totally piss me off. Sorry for the harsh language, but seriously, what are you complaining about? Thoughtful giving, yummy, sweet-smelling cookies, happy little children, and a blanket of snowfall – yup, sounds hellish!!! NOT!

So just to clarify. You’re upset that your kids are joyous and excited? At Christmas, no less? I know kids tend to get hyper and bouncy this time of year, but isn’t that a good thing? I mean that precious stage, when they believe in all the magic and still love the family get togethers, doesn’t last very long. We should enjoy it. No we should revel in it damn it! Parents, let us not forget that, before you know it, your little Billy or Suzy will be 16 and want absolutely nothing to do with you. So encourage your children’s emotions and soak up the memories.

And I can’t even go there about the snow anymore. A WHITE CHRISTMAS. Hmmm….I think that is what most would consider idyllic, no? There is even a famous song about it. You know, just in case you haven’t had Oldies 103 on constant rotation for the last 2 months. Christmas in New England, I couldn’t ask for more. Who wants to decorate with a Santa in Bermuda shorts and a surf board? (Sorry to all my friends and family in warm climates, but I just couldn’t do it!) Playing in the snow, drinking hot chocolate, and cuddling by the tree under three blankets – that’s Christmas!!

Oh “Darling Debbies” – you annoy me on so many levels. But your crowning achievement definitely comes in the idea that you have to achieve a “perfect Christmas.” Like if you can’t find a Zhu Zhu pet, or you didn’t’ get those designer stockings you wanted to hang, Christmas will be ruined! I think you need a little perspective on what a “perfect” Christmas really is.

Perfection is in the little things. It is the smaller, more memorable moments in life. Not in how well you decorated the house, how the ham tasted, or how many much you saved on the blue ray player. So what’s important then? What makes a Christmas perfect?

For me, it’s the look on my niece’s face when she sees snow. The feel of my nephews hugging me after I help them wrap presents they picked out for their mom. The smell of my sister’s kitchen as she cooks us all Christmas breakfast. It’s the sound of my husband belly laughing when I dance around the house to Christmas carols. And it’s the feeling I get every time I write out a gift label to my parents. Who, for my whole life, made sure I had plenty. These are the moments that make it special. If you focus on these, your Christmas will achieve true perfection.

"You know...Santa Claus, and ho ho ho, and mistletoe, and presents to pretty girls!" - Lucy

Happy Holidays readers!

I am ecstatic because it is my favorite time of the year, Christmastime. Who doesn't love Christmastime? Ok, all you Bah-Humbugers can exit stage left, because I have decided that this year I will not let anyone or anything kill my spirit. It never fails, every year I try to stay happy and positive, and every year stress and negativity penetrate my happy place. Well not this year! I have devised a plan of what I should do and what I should NOT do, in order to keep my yuletide gay, and make my 2009 Christmas special and memorable. Feel free to adopt this list for yourselves if it applies.

#1 - Avoid the malls at all costs. The mall is evil. It is the complete antithesis of the Christmas ideal. Rushing around looking for some sold out item, while dodging dirty looks and frantic shoppers. How does this help generate and pass on the spirit of the season? Buying meaningless gifts and stalking your neighbor over a parking space is not what the holiday should be about. Not my idea of Christmas cheer. Abstaining from the mall definitely makes the number one spot on my list.

#2 - Have Christmas carols on constant rotation. I don't know about all of you, but the classic versions of Christmas music always makes me nostalgic for my childhood Christmases. And when I think of Christmas as a child, it brings an automatic smile to my face. Now I know everyone has their particular taste, but Jonas Brothers singing some plastic pop version of Oh Holy Night should not qualify. It has to be Andy Williams, Burl Ives, Nat King Cole, Johnny Mathis, Judy Garland. You get the idea - the Time Life Treasury of Christmas, if you will. Don't laugh, it was a very good investment. It always boosts my holiday cheer.

#3 - Sit by the tree whilst drinking hot cocoa and watch the following holiday movies AT LEAST once before Christmas Day: A Charlie Brown Christmas, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, and Santa Claus is Coming to Town. Nothing like old-school claymation and animation to get you all warm and fuzzy. Oh that is a good point: fuzzy. Definitely wear some fuzzy socks while completing #3.

#4 - Buy gifts that have meaning. Now I know this is probably the hardest one for most people, but I mean it. Don't just settle and buy the video game or generic sweater. Really take the time to think about what the person would want and appreciate. Something that they will remember. Not something they'll just add to the pile, then stuff in a closet, and then totally forget about by February. Parents, instill the real spirit of giving in your children. Teach them to be thoughtful. Trust me, they will appreciate it when they are grown. And they will cherish the memories of how it feels to give and receive thoughtful gifts.

#5 - Decorate with things passed down through family. Forget these new expensive LED, laser, projection, space ship-type decorations that seem to be all the rage. Technology is fun, don't get me wrong, but it can be cold and impersonal. Decorate with pieces that trigger happy holiday memories. Do you know what my favorite decoration is? An old ornament that was my Nana's. As a kid I called it "Nuns in a Barrel." It's a silly little thing, a tuna can covered in felt with a little choir of Nuns glued inside. Random, I know, but it was hers. And every time I take it out, I remember her letting me put it on her tree when I was young. So I love it more than anything. My grandmother has since passed, but this one, tiny ornament brings her back so vividly. To me, it's priceless.

#6 - Donate to Toys for Tots. Or donate to a similar organization. When my nephews were little, I would take them to the toy store at Christmastime and have them each pick out a toy they liked. Then I would bring them to the local fire station and have them donate it to Toys for Tots. I plan on continuing this act with my own children one day. Teaching our children about giving to those less fortunate is the prime example of what Christmas should really be about.

#7 - Continue a childhood tradition. Even if you are an adult and do not have children. Pick something from your childhood holiday routine and do it. Maybe it's making a strand of construction paper rings of red and green that you hang, removing one ring per day as it approaches the 25th. Maybe it is visiting with Santa and having your picture taken. Or maybe it's attending midnight Mass. Mine happens to be listening to the entire album of A Chipmunk Christmas while baking cookies. Alvin always still wants a hula hoop, and I always smile because he does. Trust me, doing something that you did when you were little, even if it is silly, will always make your Christmas special.

#8 - Visit with family. I know. I have heard all the jokes about dealing with family, and in-laws, and stress and not enough time, yatta yatta, yatta. But nothing....nothing, makes it feel like Christmas more than when you spend time with your family. Throw a party for your relatives. Visit an aunt or uncle you haven't seen in a while. Invite all of your cousins over for dinner. Eat, drink, and be merry. But do it together. Make the effort. The holidays are not quite the same without your loved ones.

#9 - Bake and decorate Christmas cookies! Even if you are not the best baker, buy the easy sugar cookies and focus on the decorating. There is just something about the activity itself. The smell of the cookies baking, and the fun of trying to skillfully decorate them, is a good time for both children and adults. And as a bonus - now you have something homemade to leave for Santa!

and last, but not least...

#10 - Be sure to tell your loved ones just how much you care about them. Life can fly by sometimes. And we are all so busy working, going to school, taking care of our children, our homes, and all the rest, that we often forget to stop and tell each other how we feel. So find some mistletoe and tell your significant other that you love them. Buy a holiday card for your Mom and write to her just how much she means to you. Call your sisters and brothers and wish them a happy and healthy holiday season. Kiss your kids goodnight and tuck them in with care. The more love you give, the more you will feel in return. And isn't that what we all want for Christmas?

Get Well, but GET OUT!

OK. First off let me start by saying I suck. Yep. I started this blog to get back into writing, to devote time to something I enjoy, and what have I done? Let it slip! Doh! Sorry it has been so long since my last post. I will try not to let that happen again.

Ok, now that that is off my chest and I feel all warm, fuzzy, and guilt-free, on to today's topic. It is something I am going to call Illness Etiquette. That's right. The basic rules of what to do, or more precisely what NOT to do when one is sick. Now this refers to typical seasonal sickness, not long term disease, which I would be less sarcastic and more sympathetic to. (don't laugh, I would!) Nope. This post is for all you geniuses who think that is it ok to be hacking up phlegm and still come to work. Or those of you who still send poor little Billy or Suzy to school when they have a fever of, oh I don't know, 103!! You know who you are.

And to further shame you, I am going to refer to you people as The Pretenders. No you are not named after the cool band. You have been dubbed such because you are infamous for getting sick and then pretending you are not. Or getting sick and trying to return to the normal world prematurely. I must say I don't understand this phenomenon. When I am sick, I totally milk it, for as long as I can. Staying home, laying on the couch, and watching TV or reading all day while my husband caters to me? Doesn't sound too shabby to me. Especially if I look and feel like death!

So why Pretenders, why? I have heard all your arguments, and I must say, I am not buying any of them. Like when you say you are "not that sick," or you have "just a little cold," or my personal favorite, because you "are starting to feel better." LIES I tell you! For what? Just so you can return to work, or attend some function? Well guess what? There is no such thing as being a "little sick." You either are or you aren't! That is like saying you are only "a little pregnant!" And if you are only "starting" to feel better, then you are not really better yet are you? I don't know about anyone else, but I am willing to sacrifice seeing you until you are 100% sure. I mean is it going to kill you to wait another few days to fully recover? Choking, sneezing, and oozing out of your orifices is not considered healthy, nor is it polite. None of us are spewing our juices around like that. So why do you still insist on leaving your house? Take the hint...we chosen healthy ones...we don't want you around!!!

So I do wish those of you who have contracted the swine, or just the typical cold weather bug, a speedy recovery. But I am begging you please, please, PLEASE stay home and really get well. Especially with the holidays coming. No one wants to eat a contaminated pumpkin pie, or sit next to your sticky-fingered, runny-nosed kid at dinner! I mean you people do realize that this is how the pandemics live on, right?

Come on Pretenders. Learn Illness Etiquette! Don't punish the rest of us with your germs just because you think we'll miss your presence at the party, or that we can't get along at work without you. Because in all honesty, we hardly notice you're gone. Yes, sorry to say, but the world does keep spinning. So, please do not return to it until you're not!

Stop and Smell the Roses

I realize that it has been a while since my last blog. Trust me this is not by choice. On these chilly autumn days, there is nothing I would rather do than sit in my chair, covered in my ultra-plush blanket, and watch the leaves fall as I sip spicy flavored coffees and write. But alas, a little thing called responsibility always rears its ugly head! Yup, despite my recent conviction to spend more time on my personal artistic endeavors, I still fall prey to the beast that is Work.

I am not complaining, though. I love my work. I thank my lucky stars everyday that I have a career that I enjoy. And I refuse to call it a "job." Since I think of a job as labor you have to do, begrudgingly, everyday in order to make money. I am lucky enough to not currently fall in this category. I work in the field that I adore, one I pursued an education for. I work with wonderful people, and the daily excitement of running a television station never disappoints.

Recently our office has been amped up, as we accomplish some big projects. When it comes to to this, I also am so grateful for the ability to be the decision maker. Ok, I know you think I am just saying that I like to be the boss, because by nature I have a bossy personality. While I am not denying this latter fact, I promise you that my affinity for being a manager is so much more. I love that my ideas, my "big-picture" goals if you will, are the driving force for the future of the station. And seeing them continually coming to fruition is mind blowing. Making such contributions gives me a distinct sense of accomplishment. Creation, in any form, is my high.

So my usual eight hour work days have been slowly trickling into ten and twelve hours. And somehow I find myself working on things at home on the weekends. But in the end it is all worth it. I know that once this busy period culminates, not only will the fruits of my labor make it all worth while, but so will the period of rest waiting for me on the other side.

That's right, I have already planned how I will reward myself! When work calms down it will nicely coincide with my husband's birthday. And what better way to celebrate than to get away, out of the city, for a weekend! We will head North, just Ken and myself, with our beloved dogs, and spend a long weekend at a lake house. I will be able to rest, relax, enjoy the company of my husband, and focus on my recently forsaken interests. I can already tell you what our daily schedule will consist of: Sleeping in, cooking a big breakfast, hiking with our dogs, kayaking, taking some photographs, writing a bit, making a campfire, and enjoying late night conversations with each other. Now this is a twelve hour day I could get used to! Really taking time to just enjoy each other, enjoy nature, enjoy life!

I know there are a lot of you who can relate. For many of us work always seems to dominate. As I grow older, I realize that sometimes one can try so hard to succeed in life, that they never actually live it. Sayings like, "It's all in the details" and "Make time to stop and smell the roses," were coined for a reason you know! Little pearls of truthful wisdom I would say! That is why I would like to remind everyone to take time out and appreciate what is really important to you. Reward yourselves and don't apologize for it! Experience and enjoy the little things in life that matter to you. The things you don't have time for during the hectic work week. Focus on your details people, find your roses. Don't let life pass you by.

Be Kind, Rewind

Tonight I got to hang out with my nephews. My parents were babysitting, so Ken and I took the kids out to dinner to give Ma and Dad a little break. It was nice spending time alone with them. Soaking up all the silly moments of hanging with two eleven year-olds. Eleven is a funny age. They aren't little kids anymore, but they aren't quite adults. Although, lately they are shooting up like redwoods, (seriously ask my sister how much she spends replacing flood pants every other month)! I find it hilarious that one day my little guys, whose diapers I changed and boo-boos I kissed, will tower over me. And with the way they are growing, it's going to be sooner rather than later!

I love hanging out with them whenever I get the chance. The opportunities to do so seem to get fewer and fewer the older they get. Their lives are filled with school, baseball, hockey, and hanging with their friends. They have their own activities and interests now that fill their days. Playing hide and seek, baking cookies, and watching a Disney movie with Auntie just doesn't cut it anymore. No. Now they go to dances and Bruins games with their friends. Hell, Auntie isn't even considered as cool as she used to be! Before, they would take anything I said as gospel. Now my tastes and suggestions are "lame" and "cheesy." Me? Lame? When did that happen? And I almost crashed the car the other day when I heard one of them refer to a girl in his class as "hot." Apparently I am a bit lame, because that statement actually made me tear up.

But despite my shocking realization that they are no longer the chubby-faced cherubs that used to run me in circles, I am enjoying this age. I mean now we are listening to the same music, watching the same movies, and wearing similar clothes! Seeing the little men that they are becoming is fascinating. It makes me realize how fast they are growing up. This notion also made me stop and ponder how terribly long it has been since I was eleven! Let's travel back in time and relive what life was like and who I was at eleven, shall we?

The year was 1991. Ah yes, the beginning of the awkward years! I was in 6th at St. Anthony's School, and obviously the epitome of cool. No, not really. I was a nerd. Big time. I liked school, was a teacher's pet, and never got in trouble with my parents. Seriously, I could count the times I was punished on one hand. Without using my thumb.

I still wasn't sure how to interact with boys. Apparently kicking their asses in basketball at recess and beating them in arm wrestling for snack packs was no longer appropriate. I had yet to learn what cool clothes were, I was too young for make-up, and I was adamantly still rocking those five year old toddler bangs. You know, the blunt ones across the forehead that are never quite straight? So like I said, epitome of cool. Don't believe me? I give you my school picture from that year. Try to contain yourselves....

Enough said. And yes, that's right, I pilfered my brother's sweater (he was 19 at the time and clearly a bigger size). I thought it would totally rock if I matched the background. Nailed it right? Mmm hmm. This picture was so bad, that on the 8x10 my mom ordered, the dark sweater blended right into the dark background. Hence, my ever-so witty father dubbing this picture, for all eternity, as "The Floating Head Picture."

Despite my residence in Geekville, I was quite happy at this age. I had a great big family, a good group of friends, and was completely spoiled rotten. Not in a nasty or bratty way, but in a "I am the baby so I get everything I want" kind of way. Clearly there is a difference! My social life at this point? When I was eleven, afternoons were spent in the backyard with my cousins choreographing routines to Paula Abdul and Bobby Brown. We were good too. Damn good. Weekends were for sleepovers, bike riding, and playing SuperNintendo. School was filled with posterboard projects, tater tots, and kickball. And my biggest worry was what was going to unfold on the next episode of Saved By the Bell. In other words, life was good.

I hope that eighteen years from now my nephews can look back on their time as favorably. Some things about being eleven will always be the same. But in this world of increasing exposures and dwindling boundaries, this time of innocence seems shorter and shorter. I hope for my nephews that, just for a little longer, Santa remains real, board games are still fun, and Auntie is the coolest person they know. And for God's sake....let them still think that GIRLS HAVE COOTIES. And while I would love to rewind my own life every now and then, I understand that time marches on. One day my nephews will be my age, with children and nieces and nephews of their own. And they will understand this feeling of, not necessarily wanting to stop time, but somehow find a way to slow it down a little. Life goes by too fast people. Make sure you are enjoying all the right moments.